Marketing Mix - Top 4 Promotion Mix Tactics

Marketing mix is part of your marketing plan. It defines product, place, price and promotion. The promotion mix targets raising product or brand awareness, communicating the unique value proposition of your product and gaining acceptance of your products. The primary purpose and focus of promotional mix is to get the desired result: the sale of your product. There are more than seven common promotion mix tactics and while most businesses do not use all of these tactics to promote and sell their products, they do use a mix of these tactics.

The Top 4 Promotion Mix Tactics:


  1. Personal selling is one of the most common of the promotion tactics. Most companies will hire people to do the selling: sales representatives, account managers, inside sales representatives, retail sales, sales agents, or telemarketers. Face-to-face selling is one of the most common methods of selling, although sales by phone, and more recently, sales by email, are becoming well used. These are not necessarily as effective, but they are low cost sales tactics.
  2. Advertising is another common promotion tactic. Advertising focuses on brand recognition and identity; not on the product alone. Advertising can be a costly tactic that only the big businesses can invest in; particularly advertising on television which can cost anywhere from 0,000 to over million for a national broadcast in prime time (for a 30-second spot!). This cost is in addition to the cost of producing the commercial. Advertising in industry or consumer magazines is less expensive and typically you can target your advertisement to a specific industry or region. Other advertising can include car or bus 'wraps', events (such as sports, music, art), and billboards. The Internet is becoming a very popular place to advertise, and on a relative basis, it is more affordable.
  3. In the retail marketplace, consumer promotion is very common. Buy one, get one free. Coupons for discounted or free product. Free trial packages. Cash discounts or refunds. Contests that give back cash, prizes, or products. The commitment by marketers to consumer promotion is that this form of promotion can be designed to be very measurable. Coupons, contests, and packaging can be coded to report redemptions and to report sales increases and/or decreases related to consumer promotion. Additionally, packaging new products as a trial, with a mature or declining product, can often provide an opportunity to up-sell and extend the declining product's life-cycle.
  4. Public relations (PR) is another common promotion tactic. Public relations includes writing and distributing press releases (to the local newspaper, the national newspapers, to online PR sites, to radio and television, to magazines, and more). The key for effective PR is to identify and understand your target audience, the key message or messages you want to deliver, the credibility of your organization, and the recognition that PR is not a sales tactic but an identity (whether corporate, brand or product) building tactic.

The most effective promotional program is usually one that uses a variety of tactics and techniques. It is important to measure the effectiveness of the program you engage in, and adjust your promotional program to increase effectiveness and outcome (sales).

Marketing Mix - Top 4 Promotion Mix Tactics

To find out more about marketing mix, promotional tactics, push and pull strategies, and product life-cycle, visit and for more on small business resources and advice, please visit
Kris Bovay is the owner of Voice Marketing Inc, a business and marketing services company. Kris has 25 years of experience in leading large, medium and small businesses. Copyright 2008 Voice Marketing Inc.

SEO Tips and Advice - Part 2

If you are trying to make money off of your underperforming website and have yet to do so, it's time to ask yourself why. Answering this common SEO related question is actually quite easy. A website's performance generally depends on how well the search engines "like" it. Fully understanding this answer, however, is a little more difficult. Search Engine Optimization (SEO) professionals know that there are many contributing factors to a website's performance.

These contributing factors to website search engine optimization usually fall into at least one of the following two categories:


  • On-site Optimization OR
  • Off-site Optimization

The purpose of incorporating on-site and off-site SEO strategies is to increase both the volume and quality of search traffic that your website receives, and then, to turn this traffic into verifiable goal conversions. Goals will vary from site to site, and they include such things as a visitor purchasing a product, signing up for a newsletter, or even clicking on an affiliate link. Basically, anything that can prove that your visitors have found something they were actually looking for, whether it is a tangible product or simply information.

Every webmaster should be at least somewhat concerned with improving the ratio of their website's search traffic to the number of goals converted within a given time frame. This ratio provides invaluable insight into how well your site is performing. If your website is getting lots of traffic but few goals are being converted, it is probably because your site is either attracting the wrong type of visitors or the goals are not clearly defined or provided.

In my next article, SEO Tips and Advice - Part 3, I will discuss how using "white-hat" on-site optimization strategies can help you to improve your website's ratio of search traffic to goal conversions.

SEO Tips and Advice - Part 2

For help finding an internet marketing search engine specialist, visit
For more information on professional search engine optimization, visit

The author is affiliated with a Custom Web Site Development | SEO Services company in the SEO Texas market (Houston).

MW3 Strategies And Tactics - Learn From The Best

The tactics and strategies used in Modern Warfare 3 have changed a great deal since the last game. Now, it is up to you to learn and figure out the best possible striking action to take for your specific style of game play. There are certain techniques that can be taught to beginners and advanced players alike, so sit back and enjoy these free strategy tips I am about to unleash upon you.

As I was saying, and as you probably already know, COD MW3 has changed quite a bit since the last version of the game. For example, instead of having kill streaks, you now have what is called strike chains. This changes the game in a few important ways and that is one of the things we will be discussing in this article. Also, the weapons have changed, and now you will be able to level your weapons, unlocking weapon proficiencies as you go, allowing you to become more effective and powerful the more you play the game. Lets discuss these two topics in a little more detail to help you understand their importance a bit better.


Most people who start playing Modern Warfare 3 pick the assault class as their character, because the think they are just going to run around and "pray and spray" everyone, racking up the kills and points they desire and it's as easy as that right? Wrong! Now with the new implementation of strike chains a better way to rack up points is to use the support class and provide covering fire for your teammates. If you still desire to be a lone wolf however, the best class for you to pick would be a specialist, this class will allow you to run around with your guns blazing and you will rack up more points than just being the basic assault class, not that the assault class is not useful, but if you"re looking to rack up points there are better ways to do it and that is what I am letting you know.

Another great strategy for MW3 is to get your hands on the best weapons available to your class and rack up the kills leveling your weapon skills and unlocking the awesome weapon proficiencies that make all of the difference in the world when you are trying to rack up a bunch of kills and dramatically increase your kill/death ratio.

One of the best little bits of tactical advice I can give you is to get yourself a decent strategy guide. There are guides out there that provide you with all kinds of secrets, tactics, strategies and tips that 90% of other players know nothing about. This will give you a huge advantage and leap in skill. You will discover that you are quickly ranking up there with the pros using the specific tactics laid out for you in a clear and concise manner. There are all kinds of guides out there to choose from. Everything from the very basic class leveling guide to the complete guide that walks you through every aspect of Call Of Duty Modern Warfare 3 with HD videos and everything, showing you all of the best places to hide and slaughter tons of enemies as well as how to navigate all of the maps while remaining undetected.

MW3 Strategies And Tactics - Learn From The Best

For further information, strategies and tactics as well as Modern Warfare 3 strategy guide reviews check out:

Steve Somerton writes informative articles on various subjects including MW3 Strategies And Tactics - Learn From The Best. You are allowed to publish this article in its entirety provided that author's name, bio and website links must remain intact and included with every reproduction.

Marketing Strategy

In making a marketing strategy, you must take in consideration the internet and all its fame. The internet is quite amazing, as it is capable of producing its own market, and it must be tapped to increase sales. One good example of such a strategy is to make your business entirely available to the internet. Your business should be available on the internet because there are millions of people accessing the internet. That would mean that there are millions of prospects waiting to be tapped.

The internet can contain marketing ideas from which you can choose. In the internet, ideas are scattered everywhere. As you look in to a website, several ideas are being shared. All forms of marketing ideas are being offered in the internet. The internet is an ideal place to look for perfect marketing ideas. Ideas related to marketing are such in large quantity that it will take a great amount of time for you to collect and absorb the information that it is shown.


The good thing about the internet is that ideas for marketing can cost as much as the price of air. That would mean that they're free. It is actually up to you on how creative or how intuitive the idea can be for you. Just be smart and think how you can use it in the long run. A combination of a good idea for marketing and a good strategy would spell success in every angle of your business.

This kind of strategy is a sure win for your business for several reasons. One reason is that it is comparatively low-priced to make the business available in the internet. You do not have to worry, because your limited budget will work just fine. There are plenty of avenues in the internet to pitch the business that you have. It is also good to hear that many of these avenues won't cost you a penny.

One avenue that you can take advantage of is YouTube. YouTube is such a powerful avenue to spread your message across the globe with the help of videos. You can utilize videos in propping up your business. Free blog sites are another opportunity to look into. You can make articles to promote the business that you have.

In conclusion, marketing strategies are readily available in the internet. With all the ideas available everywhere, you must be cautious. Unfortunately, there are some ideas which have a lot to be taken into consideration. It requires common sense and risk calculation before an idea can be taken. In this kind of search, you might want to check if the ideas are valid to one's expectations.

Marketing Strategy

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Negotiation - Tactics, Tricks And Threats

Most successful negotiators recognise that the way people involved in negotiations behave does not always reflect their true feelings or intentions. We are going to look at negotiating tactics that may be used by you or on you. Whether or not you choose to use these tactics, it is vital to understand:

o Tactics work


o They can be being used on you, and can be used by you

o Once they are recognised as tactics, their effects are reduced, or eliminated

You may feel that there is no need in your particular case to negotiate or resort to tactics. in negotiation. This is a matter of personal choice.

In general, tactics are used to gain a short-term advantage during the negotiation and are designed to lower your expectations of reaching a successful conclusion.

There are many tactics available to negotiators. Here are some you may recognise.


This can begin before you even get together, or start your negotiations with the other party. Let us take a sales example:

You telephone for the appointment and the other side says, aggressively:

"Don't bother coming if you are going to tell me about price increases. You'll be wasting your time and I will be forced to speak to your competitors".

When you do arrive you are kept waiting in reception for half an hour, without being told why. As you walk through the door into the other person's office they indicate for you to sit down, but they don't look up. Instead, they sit leafing through your competitor's brochure, in silence, ignoring your efforts to make conversation.

You are given an uncomfortable low chair to sit in that happens to be directly in line with the sun shining into the office. At this stage, how confident do you feel?

The Monkey On The Back:

Some negotiators have the irritating habit of handing their problems to you so that they become your problems. This is the "monkey on their back" that they want you to carry around for them.

A classic example is the person who says, "I have only got £10,000 in my budget".

This is often used tactically to force a price reduction. Here is what you can do.

When one side says "I have only £10,000 in budget", look concerned and say something like:

"That is a problem. As you are no doubt aware, the cost of our systems can be anything up to £20,000 and I really want to help you choose the best system that meets your needs. Does that mean that if one of our systems has everything you are looking for, but costs £20,000, you would rather I didn't show it to you?"

The "monkey" has been returned and they have to make a choice. If the objection is genuine and the budget figure is correct, you must try to look for an alternative that meets your needs as well as theirs.

If they genuinely can only spend £10,000 that is not a tactic but the truth. In dealing with tactics the first decision you must make is whether it is a tactic or a genuine situation. If it is genuine, you have a problem to solve, rather than a tactic to overcome.

The Use Of Higher Authority:

This can be a most effective way to reduce pressure in the negotiation by introducing an unseen third party and can also be effective in bringing the negotiation to a close.

"I need to have this agreed by my Board of Directors." "If they agree to the terms we have discussed, do we have a deal?"

However, be careful to use this device sparingly so that the other side does not begin to feel you have no decision making authority yourself.

One way of countering this tactic is to say before the bargaining begins: "If this proposal meets your needs, is there any reason you would not give me your decision today?"

If the other side still wishes to resort to higher authority, appeal to their ego by saying: "Of course, they will go along with your recommendations, won't they? Will you be recommending this proposal?"


Negotiations can be a tiring process. As the point draws near when an agreement is likely, both sides exhibit a psychological need to reach agreement and get on with something else.

You are very vulnerable as the other side reaches for their pen to sign the order form or contract, to concede items that don't significantly affect the final outcome. "Oh, by the way, this does include free delivery, doesn't it?" or "Oh, by the way, the price of the car does include a full tank of petrol?"

Nibbles work best when they are small and asked for at the right psychological moment. Like peanuts, eat enough of them and they get fattening.

Good negotiators will often keep back certain items on their want list until the very last minute when the other party is vulnerable. Watch out for this.

The Good Guy And The Bad Guy:

You may have come across this tactic before or else seen it used in films or on television. This is a tactic designed to soften you up in the negotiation.

For example, you are negotiating the renewal of your service contract with the Buying Director and his Finance Director. You present your proposal and the Buying Director suddenly gets angry and walks out in disgust muttering to himself about how unfair you have been and how the relationship is well and truly over.

You pick up your briefcase and are being shown the door when the Finance Director smiles at you sympathetically and says:

"I'm terribly sorry about that. He is under a lot of pressure. I would like to help you renew your contract, but he really will not consider the price you have suggested. Why don't I go and talk to him for you and see if we can agree a compromise? What is the bottom line on the contract? If you give me your very best price, I will see what I can do".

The best way of dealing with this tactic is to recognise the game that is being played and assess exactly what the quality of the relationship is. You may be able to say something like:

"Come off it, you are using good guy, bad guy. You are a superb negotiator, but let's sit down and discuss the proposal realistically".

If you don't have this kind of relationship, stand firm and insist on dealing with the bad guy, or else bluff yourself and give a figure that is within your acceptable range of alternatives.

One way of combining good guy, bad guy. with higher authority is by saying things like:

"Well, I'd love to do a deal with you on that basis, but my manager refuses to let me agree terms of this nature without referring back and he refuses to talk to salespeople. Give me your best price and I will see what I can do"

Body Language:

It is important in negotiation to react verbally and visually when offers are made. You may have seen the more theatrical negotiators hang their heads in despair or accuse you of being unfair and souring a perfectly good relationship when you present your proposal. Human nature is such that we can believe and accept these outbursts against us and our negotiating position becomes weaker as a result.

Ensure the next time you are in a negotiation that you react to the other party's offer. If you show no reaction, they may be tempted to ask for more and more and you will lose the initiative in the negotiation. Also, it is almost certain that their opening offer is higher than the figure for which they are prepared to settle, so it is important that you clearly signal your unwillingness to accept the opening position.

If you reach the point below which you will not go, it is important that you show this with your body language. News readers, when they have finished reading the news, have a habit of picking up their script and tidying up their papers. This tells the world that they have finished their task and are preparing to leave.

Similarly, when you make your final offer, it can be very powerful to collect your papers together and indicate with your body that it really is your final offer. Put your pen away, sit back in your chair and remain silent. Look concerned and keep quiet.

If your voice says final offer but your body is saying let's keep talking, the other party will disregard what you say and keep negotiating.

The Use Of Silence:

During the negotiation, you may make a proposal and find the other party remains silent. This can be very difficult to handle and often signals disapproval to the inexperienced negotiator. Just as nature abhors a vacuum, so silence induces the need in people to talk.

If you have a proposal to make, make it and ask the other side how he or she feels about it. Having asked the question, sit back and wait for the answer. Whatever you do; don't change your offer as this could seriously weaken your position.

The Vice:

A common technique used by negotiators when presented with a proposal is to say:

"You'll have to do better than that."

The most powerful way of dealing with this is to ask them to be more specific. Whatever you do, don't weaken your negotiating position in response to the vice by giving anything away, too easily. This will only encourage repeat behaviour.

The Power Of Legitimacy:

People believe what they see in writing. We all assume that if a thing is printed or written down, it is non-negotiable. This is what can make price lists so powerful. If you have to present a customer with a price increase or you wish to encourage an early order to beat a price increase, show something in writing such as an office memo from your boss announcing the increase. This will have a far greater impact than just saying your prices are about to go up.

When presented with a price tag in a shop, ask to speak to the manager and make him an offer. You could be surprised at the results.

And Finally -The Low Key Approach:

Don't appear too enthusiastic during negotiations. Over-enthusiasm can encourage skilled negotiators to review their strategy and demand more.

If you are in a negotiation and the other side is not responding to your proposal, recognise this could be a tactic and avoid giving concessions just to cheer them up. Salespeople like to be liked and will often give money away in a negotiation, if the other side appears unhappy.

For example, if you are buying a car avoid saying to the seller things like:

"This is exactly what I'm looking for. I really like the alloy wheels".

Develop a low-key approach. Say things like:

"Well, it may not be exactly what I'm looking for but I might be interested if the price is right".

Copyright © 2008 Jonathan Farrington. All rights reserved

Negotiation - Tactics, Tricks And Threats

Jonathan Farrington is the CEO of Top Sales Associates and Chairman of The Sales Corporation - based in London and Paris. Jonathan's personal site The JF Consultancy, - - offers a superb range of unique and innovative sales solutions and you can also catch his daily blog at The JF Blogit -

Growing With Market Expansion Strategy

As you may already know that market expansion is one of the most common strategies in marketing. The general concept of market expansion is to start selling your product to new groups of prospective customer. If you manage to get in front of more prospect than last year, then you should be able to make more sales than last year too. There are two effective way to expand your market and your business. The first one is to introducing more products to the market, that way you will be able to get multiple new customer bases. The second one is to take an advantage of a product that is especially popular. This strategy will allow you to support the other product sales when your customers are drawn in by your best seller.

Offering more products


Although not in an instant, introducing new product will strongly expand your share of particular market. If in the previous year you only sold 10 products, and you offer 20 in this year you will see that your sales will rise up two fold. Of course usually your new product will not sell as good as your old ones, but if you persist, you will catch up their sell in a couple of years. You can choose between adding new product by simply reselling or distributing product that complement with your line or you can innovate and create your own new product that nobody does before. It does not matter which one will you choose, you will have two important choice to do next that is to informing your customer that you have something new and you must convinced them to take a look.

Riding a bestseller to the top

Bestseller product is a product that sells multiple times than anything else. An outstanding bestseller can achieve a hundred or more time than the normal level of product in the same category. You can use this bestseller product to gain multiple profits than the usual easily. How do you create a bestseller product? Well you must do some research to find it. Look for something that has more potential than any other product. In your research you will need to try many alternatives. If you find a product that has a rapidly growth of sale then focus your marketing effort on that product and do not let yourself lose the momentum.

Growing With Market Expansion Strategy

Danu has been writing articles for several years. His newest interest is in home decoration. So come visit his latest website that discusses home decoration products such as shabby chic mirrors and wooden mirrors to create an elegant atmospheres in your house.

Blue Ocean Strategy Example in Asia - Example 1

One of the significant changes that airline industry have changed is the involvement of budget airline industry. The good example in Malaysia is Air Asia.

Air Asia have managed to avoid the red ocean (compete with Malaysia Airline and regional airline such as Tiger Air, Jet Air etc) by looking into the factors that industry take for granted and also factors that important to customers. With the Four Actions Framework proposed by Blue Ocean Strategy authors, Air Asia have implemented many strategic move to ensure they are making Malaysia Airline and regional airline company irrelevant.


Example of the strategic move as follows:


* Over the counter booking system

* Free Food/Beverage on the plane

* Seating Class booking system

Reduce :

* "luxury" facilities provided by Airport Lounge

* No of attendance service on the plane

* Seat Quality


* Focus on several key destination

* Increase frequency of flight

Create :

* Online Booking system

* Point to point travel system

With this strategic move, Air Asia able to focus on factors that really bring value to the customers such as point to point travel system, easy booking system etc. This will help Air Asia to reduce cost and at the same time increase the value to the customers - Value Innovation.

Besides that, Air Asia is able to look at current non-customers as explained by the authors of Blue Ocean Strategy.

Current Airline Customers:

* Customers who are affordable to buy expensive ticket from Malaysia Airline and regional airline companies.

* Business people in Malaysia or ASEAN region


* Government Staff

* Those that cannot afford to buy expensive ticket such as who are in rural areas, students or fresh graduates.

With the successful implementation of this Blue Ocean, Air Asia have venture into other businesses such as Tune Hotel and Tune Money. The concept is toward Blue Ocean marketplace.

Blue Ocean Strategy Example in Asia - Example 1

ECO MAX Training & Learning Center provides Blue Ocean Strategy workshop for public listed companies, private held company, small businesses and Government body.

The author can be contacted via the web-site

Key Account Management - 7 Tactics to Build Into Your Sales Program

Not all customers are created equal ... in the volume that they buy from you or the profitability that they bring to you. Some of your customers have key significance to your business. They may be your largest customer, or your highest profit customer, or your must significant national (or international) account.

Do you practice key account management strategies in your business? If you don't, you probably should. Key account management is used in business to business sales relationships. Do you know what key account strategies are; and why and how you should you manage them?


Key account management focuses your business on those accounts that represent a large percentage of a significant business measure: be it overall sales volume; specific product sales; national account status; profitability; and more. For example, if you sell to a customer who annually buys 18 per cent of your overall volume, that account is likely a key account to your business. If a customer only buys one per cent, or less, of your overall volume, they are still important to your business but that customer is not a key account.

Key accounts have a good deal of power in any relationship with their suppliers. It is up to you to manage that power, and build a relationship that is a balanced partnership.

When you build your sales plan, you will need to add key account strategies. Make sure that the plan includes a worst case scenario; losing one or more of your key accounts and how you will handle that loss. Your business survival depends on your readiness to respond and pro-act, rather than react. Develop a scenario plan and analysis that will help you address a survival outcome.

It is challenging to replace a key account on short, or no, notice (I say this from personal experience). But it is possible. However, rather than losing a key account and having to deal with the consequences, focus your sales strategies and planning on building strong key account programs with strong exit barriers (customers will stay with you for a long time if you build the right program). Let me be painfully clear: it is better to keep your key accounts and grow them, than it is to lose one or more key accounts.

Key account management builds a focus on the overall value the customer or account brings. It is important to recognize it is not only sales volume and profit that is important, but the geographical closeness (if your customer is your next door neighbor it is easier to build a strong relationship); the long-term volume and relationship growth potential; the simplicity, or complexity, of providing a service; are all equally important (and in some circumstances, one value will be more important than another).

7 Key Account Tactics To Build Into Your Sales Program:

  1. Set up a single point of contact for the key account: the key account manager. Dedicate internal staff to support the key account; e.g. the customer service representative; or shipper, or scheduler; or inventory manager; or whatever is required and have that staff report to the key account manager.
  2. Volume discounts or rebates, or other price incentives: this is the standard - everyone does it; everyone expects it.
  3. Build a priority ordering program for your key account(s), such as restricted access to your online order system.
  4. Customize your product or service for the key account (for example, private labeling, or actual features of the product or service changed/customized for the key account).
  5. Match your sales relationship with key account. For example, if the key account sells by the piece, carton, or whatever, your system should allow the same units of sale (multiplied if necessary).
  6. Set up cross-business teams and initiatives to improve service, such as product development teams, quality improvement teams, branding efforts, etc.
  7. Provide integrated delivery, fulfillment, re-order points, inventory, and invoicing.

Other than the tangible price value, the benefits your customer will receive from a key account program are less tangible: a highly customized, service-supported product or service.

Key account programs can also improve organizational efficiency; for example, improved sales efficiency, streamlined processes, focused communications, optimized order scheduling and inventory management, and a targeted sales plan (that might even include a global account management program) - there are efficiencies to be gained in this relationship. Business owners are challenged not to 'give back' those efficiencies in price reductions. The goal of key account management must be to not only keep the account but also to earn a reasonable profit from the account.

Key account management strategies are used in a business-to-business-selling environment rather than in a more-individual business-to-consumer-selling environment. Meeting your key customers' needs must be a driving force of your business. Build strong exit barriers (such as integrated inventory and re-ordering systems) so that your key accounts find it hard to leave.

Many business owners fear the key account relationship; they are afraid of the 'big stick' that the key account wields. But by building a strong key account management program that benefits both your customer and your business, there is nothing to fear - your key account will not want to leave (and take their business) because they will lose too much perceived, and real, value.

Key Account Management - 7 Tactics to Build Into Your Sales Program

To improve your key account relationships, visit for more strategies. And for more small business advice on managing a small business, please visit Kris Bovay is the owner of Voice Marketing Inc., a business and marketing services company. Kris has more than 25 years of experience in successfully managing and leading large, medium and small businesses. Use Kris' experience to help you manage and lead your business. Copyright 2008 Voice Marketing Inc.

Fight Back Passive Aggressive Actions With 5 Guerrilla Tactics!

Is very easy to discover the inherent pain that a relationship based on passive aggression brings. It is important that you identify exactly the behaviors that trigger your confusion, isolation or anger, and ascribe them to his peculiar way of doing life in general. You are not responsible for his attitude, learned in his childhood.

A passive aggressive intimate connection is a sad paradox. It is as if, in the middle of our constant search for love, companionship and support, we humans encountered a huge blockage that says: "I will pervert and block all your steps towards reaching love, in such a way that it will be impossible to discover who did it and how it was done...all the way I'm professing my love and devotion for you."


This is the challenge presented by the passive aggressive person's constant sabotage, which has the objective of deliver a permanent resistance to any deep intimacy, trust and union. You would say, "This is contradicting any search for love...! How can it be that in the middle of this warm relationship building we encounter such a strong resistance that the same love gets destroyed?"

It's difficult to accept, but some people are so scared of being deeply loved, that they will unconsciously frustrate all steps towards intimacy with passive aggressive behaviors. So, you are warned. And probably you know already the multiple ways in which this passive aggression will rear its ugly face. Perhaps if we review some of them, we can begin to offer an strategy to understand how it happens and so reduce the damage. Let me count the ways...

1.- Behavior always focused on negative aspects of life: The basic attitude here is that life is a miserable experience and there is no joy to be expected, so we are victims of a cruel destiny. In this view, others including you are responsible for the circumstances he is in, and little can be done to change. In order to continue piling up misery and rejection, positive aspects are thoroughly ignored or rejected.

TACTIC NUMBER 1: To counteract the effects of PA behaviors you need to be sure of your own accomplishments, and be proud of them. To keep the mindset of victim hood, your partner will diminish or ignore them, Remind yourself constantly about your good qualities, before it's too late and you begin to accept your partner's misery framing as the mirror with which you perceive yourself. Catch yourself diminishing your merits and tell yourself to Stop! Do some breathing exercises and tell yourself how good you are at what you do.

 Keep your good friends around, so they can also remind you of your good qualities.

2) Behavior that induces a constant confusion in your brain The main problem with passive aggressive behavior is how to identify the unhealthy interaction. This is difficult because your mind needs to observe and evaluate the situation while it is simultaneously being confused by a barrage of contradictory messages. He'll say his actions stem from good intentions and the want to provide support, while at the same time he abandons any commitment at the least opportunity. Moreover, he is always going to rationalize his hurtful behavior, producing more confusion in your brain.

TACTIC NUMBER 2: Accept confusion and emotional pain as indicators of being in a relationship with a passive aggressive (PA) person. Another kind of person would make you feel totally different; the truth now is that another person is confusing and manipulating you! DO take your confusion seriously: go for a walk; do something alone; write in your diary; learn breathing exercises to calm your brain and heart; watch a positive romantic movie in TV; anything that fills you with mind clarity and peace is welcome! 

3) Sabotaging your best projects: If you show enthusiasm and excitement for some personal project, it is sure that you will receive negative opinion, criticism and put down comments. Because your partner will perceive your projects as threatening the amount of attention now allocated to him, she/he will sabotage them.

TACTIC NUMBER 3: Don't expect or want anything important, fundamental, or vital from a PA partner, at least at the beginning. The more detached you can be from the final outcome of any shared intimacy, the more protected you become from manipulations that will eventually disappoint you. So, you need to present your heart's desires in a way that is detached from the emotions they produce in you. If you show enthusiasm and high expectations, any project will be nipped in the bud. If you can present the most fabulous ideas with a blank face, then you'll likely to get what you want. Learn to control any visible emotional connection or desire, while you move ahead with your projects simultaneously.

4) Giving you the "Silent Treatment" Maintenance of aloof silence toward another as an expression of one's anger or disapproval: a deliberate discourteous act. Are you getting the cold shoulder, but you don't know why? Is someone who's normally eager to speak to you now keeping your conversations to the bare minimum? This can be hurtful, frustrating, and confusing.

TACTIC NUMBER 4:   Asserting Yourself in light of the silent treatment. If you remember that he uses this way of controlling you, without a clear reason that would justify his detachment, then you can be safer. Think again that this reaction is his choice, that he could behave in a different way, and that this behavior is not revealing or confirming anything about your value as a person. You are not responsible for his behavior, he is deciding to be cold and distant and controlling. Again, detaching yourself, having your own projects and friends, can help you protect your core from the isolation forced unjustly on you. When you feel stronger, perhaps you would try to confront him explaining the impact that this behavior has on you, and on the future of the relationship.

5) Always "not being completely there" In a time of need, the PA person will always be, as the saying goes: "an hour late, a dollar short, or a block away." He backs off at the right moment, doing nothing when something is expected from him. He hides behind a curtain of good intentions..."I tried to, but..." He "was meaning to go with you to the doctors...but something else came up." He can give you a dozen reasons why he could not do what he promised. The first excuse is that he forgot about the deal. This leaves you confused between believing him, and listening to your hurt feelings.

TACTIC NUMBER 5: Every time you receive this excuse; each time he says that he "forgot", substitute the words: "didn't want to" instead of "forgot." You then can properly realize what is going on, and can move on with your decisions. You put an end to the confusion and paralysis provoked by his mix of good intentions and omissions.

Living with a person who relates in this way can induce pain, confusion and loneliness. Regardless of that, you might be very well looking at his good aspects and trying to make a good effort to develop a stable and long term relationship.

Fight Back Passive Aggressive Actions With 5 Guerrilla Tactics!

To help navigate this difficult path, you can use the ebook: "Recovering from Passive Aggression."

Nora Femenia is a well known coach, conflict solver and trainer, and CEO of Creative Conflict Resolutions. Her best selling ebook: "Recovering from Passive Aggression," together with other ebooks about developing and keeping healthy relationships can be found at her blog.

Even more: for wise articles on how to clarify conflict issues in your life, survive emotional abuse, manage anger attacks and receive life-changing coaching sessions, visit her blog at:

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